I'm sorry I haven't been doing a good job of keeping this consistent, I often just get caught up in the little things and find that it's bed time before I know it. These last two weeks have been extremely intense with our speakers and very out of schedule for us which has made things extremely busy, but also really has been challenging me if I'd like to take what I'm learning and keep it in my head, or to apply it to my heart. Each morning I have to wake up and either out loud, or in my head say that today I am choosing Jesus because sometimes without the commitment, temptation is more attractive. But last week we had a speaker by the name of JR Pohlemus, a pastor and speaker, and he spoke on the Holy Spirit. We have been working a lot in the Holy Spirit this whole quarter in just being able to hear him, feel him etc. but we got more into the gifts of the Spirit which were fairly new to me. We dove right in and on our first day, JR spoke about the tongues. It was amazing to see how many people had the gift and that it was available to every believer who believed and was willing to receive. It was something that I was very interested in, but I felt a very unsettling feeling come over me when we were able to practice the already given gift to us (by the Holy Spirit) and turned into something much deeper for me. The unrest was overwhelming and I just started to feel that I needed to talk to God about what was going on and why this was something that I was so afraid of. I wanted to intimacy that a spiritual language with God could provide, but there was so much blockage in the way. This turned into something that was amazing, because the Lord blessed me with a yearning to find this blocking sins and where they might root from. I began to mind map and just think about the different things that had taken me to the spot that I'm at with sins that are separating me from God and here a journey started. Healing is painful and disciplined but the Lord is already working in me because as willing as I am to be closer to him, he is 100 times more willing. This was also a revelation to me this week that God pursues me as his child. I had heard people speak about how God pursues them and wants them and is constantly reeling them back to him but I hadn't had that revelation myself. Then we were sitting in worship, and at the end of a song someone got up and just said hey guys, let's thank God for what he's doing in our lives every day. Just being able to be in a community of love like we are and so forth, after that I was so humbled. The Lord showed me what a pursuit he had had on me that I would get to a community like the one I was blessed to be in. I felt an impression so strong after that of "Karly, I love you", something I obviously knew already, being fundamental, but it was something that absolutely broke me to realizing how much the God of the universe wants me. His pursuit is on and he doesn't give up, that's what is so amazing.
Later in the week, JR brought his daughter to help with teaching and she gave us the idea that when we look back to situations that brought us pain or bitterness to see the source of pain in that situation and Jesus right beside us because he was there with us. He was so much more hurt than we were at what was happening and he was there to love us, especially when we weren't getting love from people around us. To know that his love is so unconditional that it doesn't matter what I do or what circumstance I'm in is so comforting and I can be as confidence in his love tomorrow as I am today. The whole week was one that was really interesting and hard because I didn't have a lot of knowledge on the Holy Spirit and His gifts, but I feel like I have a lot more knowledge of even the bible and how I can apply that to my life, when God and I are ready.
This week I also went to Kingdom Night (evangelism in lo-do). It was crazy since there are usually a lot of people, but there were only six from our school and maybe 15 or 20 from the other schools. I was able to talk to a few boys from the area as well as a man who challenged me a lot on the credibility of everything I believe and made me more inspired to look for the roots of Christianity (obviously Jesus, but the translations of the bible and such). It was an amazing ride back to our school also, since the group was so small we were all able to be real with each other as well as just have a lot of fun. Sunday also was great because the church that I am going to is speaking on idols. This week was the idol of religion and each week that Pastor Jay has talked about a different idol I have felt convicted to change my life and follow God so whole heartedly and put all other things secondary to him in my life. I am seeing so much progress! It's amazing. Just being able to take my thoughts captive and treating people with the love that Christ flows through me is the beginning but intimacy with my Creator has stepped it up a notch which is what I am so hungry for. I am finding that the more that I learn and know about God and his character, the more hungry I am to learn more! It has been great and I would love to write about week six, but I will do that tomorrow since it is bedtime right now. Please be praying for me and my team with the outreaches creeping up and that their funds will start flowing in. We trust in the Lord to provide, but prayer is always part of the plan so thank you!
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