Friday, December 31, 2010

Week One - Outreach

So much travelling. I have always considered myself a pretty good traveller and patient with planes and such, but 32 hours later I was definitely ready to get off of the plane. We left the base at 3 am on the 22 I think and from Denver to Salt Lake to Seattle to Tokyo to Bangkok. We arrived the 23 and headed to the YWAM base at 3 am for a little bit of sleep. That day we had orientation and then onto a bus for 12 hours to get down to where we are now, called Phuket more specifically Patong, where we have been focussing our ministry time. The place we are staying is called SHE ministry and it is an amazing place that helps to train girls with skills allowing them to get out of the sex trade and work as waitresses, housekeepers and other common jobs here in Thailand. It also helps to teach the girls English, since much of the tourism here is from Americans and Europeans, and it is amazing ho many tourists are packed into a little, beautiful country. The building is modern and fairly clean and surrounded by trees, flowers and many other plants. Five of us were able to stay in the upstairs of the building and the boys are all on the second floor and the rest of the team of girls is in the basement. I am on the top floor :) The view out over the lake and into a forested area is one of the most beautiful landscapes I have ever seen and the small town that we overlook has a beauty in its simplicity. People who are dressed in beautiful clothes and driving really nice cars live in tiny little houses, that have roofs that resemble huts. The streets are surrounded by tropical plants but next to this beautiful life, there is piles of trash. I love the crazy heat and humidity and the warm hospitality that is all over the place, but it is so confusing that all of this life can live next to dirty areas. There are animals that roam the street almost everywhere, the most common being chickens and dogs, and there is nothing that comes around to clean up after the waste. I think most every home that we have passed has at least one dog to either protect or invite. The area that we are staying in has a lot of really modern looking homes and apartment building type complexes that are developed and beautiful, but right next will be a more run down set of homes, so within the contrast it is amazing to discover the culture.
Food is amazing and extremely cheap. Money is called baht here and for each dollar we exchange around 30 baht. The average meal for our whole team is 1200 baht - converting to 40 dollars. This a whole team of 23 people, full meal and no one is skimping by being hungry. Fruit stands are in abundance and we are able to buy pineapple (cut into the coolest design) for 20 baht, a bunch of bananas that have not been covered in preservatives are 25 baht or so, depending on the weight, and it is so fresh! We have found how much faster fresh fruit goes bad, but how much more satisfying it is to the tongue. Authentic Thai, has a wide range of flavours, but we have found that locals love spice! They realize that we are foreign, or "forongs", so they take it easy on the fresh peppers and ground chili-powder. Our Mexican friend is about the only one who can take the heat with them here. I can not complain with the taste though, I am beginning to being adapted to the spice and the food that isn't, is sweet and easy on the tongue. Rice is in abundance for most ever meal and if not it's a rice noodle type thing that acts as a replacement. Rice is my favourite staple, so I have been extremely content. We were warned before coming that Diarrhea is not in short supply and each of us should expect to experience it for a least a little while, but hardly any of us have had it!! I have been blessed to not get sick from anything we eat and all water is bottled, it's been amazing!
The climate..... I am made to be here! It's probably 30 degrees average and it's incredibly humid. We can't put out clothes at night and expect them to dry, because everything that's not being scorched in the sun has a damp feel. This includes things like gum, chips and other snacks. Food, clothes, shoes, hair and skin. Everything is moist which I enjoy coming from using a chapstick a day in Denver. Lotion has not been a necessity and that is that same with lip chap. I love it here! We are beginning to become acclimated, but all of us pasty white girls are experiencing curly hair almost daily. We sweat quite often and a run in the morning is like a bath. We are blessed with being able to shower in real showers here, and wash clothes in an almost manual machine. The culture actually promotes cleanliness and showering more than once a day is common, so this is a little weird for me being the person that I am, but I have been enjoying showers a lot more than I ever have before.
Oddly enough, the nation carries an unpleasant odour almost everywhere you go. There are portions on the streets that smell amazing from food, some that don't see, to have a smell at all and then three steps later there will be the most putrid smell - I don't understand where it comes from, but I think a bit of the infrastructure could use some work.
The people. They are warm and welcoming for the most part. Walking around the little town we are in yields many invitations to sit and talk, share food or just play with children. There are street vendors all over as well and people who sell food and drinks from a bicycle, so it is easy to create community over these little things. Not many people have been able to travel and almost all are eager to learn English, so it's great to be able to talk to everyone and there is a mutual appreciation from the conversation. I love that hospitality is natural and not forced out of reading the Bible or feeling that it is the right thing. The majority of people here are Buddhist, around 95%, second Muslim and third Christianity at 0.7%! It's is incredibly small, and there is still such a warmth to the culture, Jesus is at work here even though statistics or technicality doesn't show it.
Some odd cultural things to me are that the bottom of the feet are extremely offensive and pointing your foot at a person is comparable to flipping the bird. Seeing the bottom of someones foot is a no no in general, so sitting is a little different. In contrast, the head is seen as almost holy, so people do not touch another persons head without getting permission as a spiritual protection. Along with this, there are many monks in Bangkok all dressed in orange robes. A women is not allowed to touch them in any way and if buying something where a women is the sales person, she has to hand the item to a man and then to the monk. If a women accidentally grazes them at the bus station or deliberately touches them, they then have to take 20 days to become clean again. I haven't yet ran into a monk on close terms, but it is apparently pretty important that I keep my distance.
With Buddhism being so prominent here, there are things called spirit houses all over the place. They are little and very well decorated and intricately carved. Here is where they house the different spirits of the world and I'm not too sure what else they are used for, but they are in abundance. Idols, decorated trees and walls built to honour the Buddhist belief are all over, and they carry an extremely heavy spiritual feeling with them wherever you see them.
The King is LOVED by the people here, and when asked ANYTHING about him, the only appropriate response is, "He is a great king." Also there are pictures of him and his wife all over and whenever people drive by they honk at the picture. His song will be played out in public areas and all commotion stops and people look at the flag until the song is done. They mean business when it comes to the king. The dedication here to so many things astounds me and I wish that I could take even a portion of their discipline in meditation and apply it to my walk with the Lord! They are amazing pre-Christians I tell ya.
 So for my time here. It has been spiritually heavy already with being in a new place and not being in the comfort and constant direction that I am used to. Being away for Christmas was a little odd, but it honestly didn't feel like it was Christmas so I was able to avoid the homesickness that I hear others have to live in that day. The time difference is ten hours from the Denver or Lethbridge time zone, so I have not yet been able to call home. I spent a few days wishing that I could see everyone at home again and that I could wake up in my own house and surprisingly, I really wanted my car, but for the most part I have been able to just enjoy what we are doing her and the country because I know that I won't be coming back in this context again. We spent most of Christmas Eve in orientation or on a bus and woke up Christmas morning on the bus again. The country, though small, is extremely long, so bus rides are a bit of an extended period. We spent the rest of our Christmas getting a little settled in and heading down to a damn area for a BBQ. There were many people there and there were a few more teams staying at this ministry which was really nice to hang be around on the holidays. Being able to speak English with no issue is a huge blessing since many people can speak some, but not fluent. We spent time in worship and reflecting on the huge sacrifice it was for God to give himself to us in flesh and though we celebrate His life and birth, but that He came to die. I never thought so heavy about this and that Easter is truly something that needs to be more heavily emphasized in my life. I spent some time reading through each gospels different perception on the birth of Jesus and reminding myself of Jesus' love. We also ate at this lovely local place called the blue hut, which has amazing food and is extremely welcoming to us all of the time. On the 26th we ate there for both of the meals that weren't provided to us here at SHE. Every morning we eat cornflakes, and I love it! I feel blessed to enjoy the food here because I know that other outreaches have not had the same thing. There aren't really churches for us to attend, so on Sunday we had our own church service as a team and spent time in worship and personal time with God. We had not yet done any ministry, so everyone was getting antsy and our attitudes were getting not so awesome, so it was a day for us to re group and build the unity we were lacking from before. Once we started ministry, this hasn't been much of an issue at all. Each day carries its own spiritual heaviness for each person, but it has been great since as a team we are realizing that we need to speak out our struggles and cover each other in prayer and support. It's hard to be vulnerable sometimes with our weaknesses, I have recently found, but I think most people have let others know of some sort of struggle in their life and each time it brings a new unity to the team. Also we spend time in worship every morning and every night before we head out for ministry. We also have time each morning we also have quiet time, so God has been so alive to me personally and really been present in my prayer walks and daily rituals. I am nervous about what life's going to look like without the structure of "quiet time" and  corporate worship, but I think God has been growing me already in so many ways, and I see that I have so many weaknesses that have never been evident to me before. Honestly, every day I see how much I need to grow and it's so hard to live in, but I love that God is there with me and growing in me. I love that I have to be dependant on God here and how alone, I honestly would burn out in one night, conflict or early morning, but God is with us!
Week two's blog will talk a lot more about the ministry we are working with and the amazing ways that God is working in it!
I truly am learning what it means to just love, so I love you the best that I can! and I hope each day that capacity increases.

Monday, December 20, 2010

Weeks Eleven and Twelve YPDTS

My final weeks of DTS lecture phase. I am currently in "outreach mode" but still in Colorado.
The last two weeks have been a little different, but good. They weren't as emotional for me as the earlier ones, but I think it's a good thing and it's getting me prepared for the strength God will have for me in the spiritual oppression of Thailand. We had a speaker who did a really good job of making Bible Study seem fun and possible for anyone to do. She just spent time in getting us comfortable in our Bibles as well as with concordances and what sort of questions are appropriate for each type of audience. The next week we had different speakers who spoke on different aspects of missions and worship. There are so many ways to live a missional life and I really feel God's tug on me to be involved. I know that there is a lot going on in our own backyard that we can be a part of, but I am excited to be part of the international great commission and know that God is backing me one hundred percent. The different speakers made me question a bit how God would have me be involved in reconciliation of mankind, but it's exciting to know that taking baby-stepes will allow Him to guide me into where He would have me. I have been struggling with the idea of "what's next" since lecture phase is now over and outreach is only two months. I am trying to seek God on what He has for me and in what time, but as my face tells I am stressed out and having a hard time hearing His call for me. I realize that I am only eighteen though, which makes it easier for me to know that I have time and it's not too late for me to change my mind or have a new direction from God. I really want what I want though so it's been a battle letting that go and making it about serving and not about how it will benefit me. The deeper I get into the humility, the deeper I get into realizing that I am a lot more in love with myself than I ever thought. That's okay though, because I know that God will complete the work that He has started in me and it's a marathon not a sprint.
Anyway that is what has been going on internally a bit, but as a collective I have been learning a lot about what it means to live in true community and to really love people, "thinking of myself less instead of thinking less of myself" (Pastor Jay from Vineyard). Our one speaker that same week spoke on different ways that we are able to worship, one of which being giving things of monetary value. I struggle with this so much. I love the things that I have been blessed with to the point that they become higher to me than the blessing and the "bless-er". So we each had time to seek God if He had something that He wanted us to remove from priority and use to submit to Him all the more and give Him control once again. So as I took it to Him, I denied every idea that popped into my head and told myself that it didn't matter what I gave that anything was good, but God made it clear that wasn't His plan. So I gave away valuable things to my heart and it ended up being great. God used it to bring our community together as a family and to have a hunger to serve each other instead of thinking what we could gain. That whole week was one of unity and being the true body of Christ and there was an attitude of recognizing the value of a human, instead of the things that they can do for you. It's so weird to think that even being in the body of Christ, people aren't held as valuable as they should be, when we are told that this is the case over and over. I was able to be in a community that really felt this though, which was amazing for all of us and I hope that I will be able to remember that for ALL people that I meet. Unlikely, but God is more powerful than any evil I could scheme up, so I have faith that His pursuit will be life-long with me and me of Him. So in essence, it was a great week, sad that it occurred so late in the quarter, but better than never.
We also had an event called a Christmas Love Feast on the Saturday which was so great! It hasn't felt like Christmas at all here, odd since we are focused on Christ, but this really just brought the spirit alive. We spent the whole day cooking and preparing ourselves and each other for the night and I don't know if I've ever curled that much hair in one sitting in my life. I'm not sure that anyone ever has to be honest, but people were looking beautiful. It was nice for all of us to be able to look our best and have fun with each other and each of us had drawn a name earlier in the week that we would make a little box for with an encouragement note in it. The anticipation might have been what made it so fun, but we were each told to, as a room, make a love offering for the rest of the school. It was a pretty way of saying we were having a mandatory talent show but since a lot of us don't have a specific talent we wanted to show the world, the majority were hilarious. My room took all of our outreach drama's and dances and made them into a big dance all combined, completely ridiculous, but there was joy in the room - so it was so worth it. The next night we went to a fancy Italian restaurant where we were all able to dress up again and have fun. All together a fun and unifying weekend. The next night, unplanned, we went to B-Dubs and watched people eat more wings that should be humanly possible and watched a football game. All these little things together made the last week go out with a bang and all of us realize how much we enjoy each other. I love the small things that do that for a group.
Week Twelve was sad knowing that this was it for us as a group. We had class with the director of the base and the other DTS that is living down at the base in Arvada, the Musicians. We talked about being prepared for the battle field we are entering into and being able to recognize that it is a supernatural fight we need to be involved in. Asking God for true discernment in seeing where His heart is in all of the nations we are heading to and to be able to really look beyond what we see. Knowing that we are going to be attacked by the enemy because we are doing what he hates, but that the Holy Spirit is going with us the whole time and the authority that the name of Jesus gives us. Satan and death has been defeated already by Jesus, so we just need to be His hands and feet and make the choice to defeat the enemy daily so that the cross wasn't in vain. Peter Warren (the director) was a very good speaker, so I have about 12 million pages of notes, but I feel so much more prepared for the battle ahead of me and I have a peace that has been long awaited for the whole idea of outreach.
This week was also one of getting everything cleaned up and packing our bags for the next DTS to come in. I am thee biggest girl on the planet for sure because I wasn't more stressed about anything this whole quarter than trying to fit all of my stuff into my bags so that I can fly home in February. Resulting, I am giving away a few things that I definitely don't need when I get home and I sent a package back early - I pack heavy apparently. That's okay though because it all worked out and I am ready to go. We as a school came down for the secondary school's graduations and for our last day as a whole YPDTS. We had some outreach shopping we had to do and then after that and the grad we all went bowling! Possibly the most ridiculous sport for amateurs, but a good time and enjoyable way for us all to say goodbye. It was really hard that whole day during worship to pray for each other knowing that we were going to be leaving and this was the icing on the cake, but it's cool to know how God is going to be working in Colombia and Thailand through a bunch of students who worked through their own issues together for a few months. I am encouraged at how powerful God is that He can use a bunch of us who are struggling ourselves to be a change all over the world. I find power in my weakness here, because the lower I place myself, the higher He can be. I want to be able to do this in all parts of my life and for God to break me over and over as we are away from comfort and with a group of people who all have different ideas, opinions and personalities. I ask for a net of prayer over our team that we can be unified and not allow the enemy to use anything against us to break from each other. Part of this is holding short accounts with each other and choosing not to take offence to the slip ups each other have. I struggle with this too and it has been our team prayer, so I am excited to see how it all shapes up and the sort of things God can do if we give Him control and walk in obedience.
I'm not sure how often I'll be able to get these out while I don't have a computer, internet access and electricity in some areas and even lacking a bed in others, but I will do my best to keep you updates as much as possible.
We are flying out on Wednesday at 7am and will be arriving in Bangkok around 11pm our time. It's a 16 hour time change, which should take a few days of adjustment, but we're going to get ourselves in Thailand mode the day before if at all possible. We will be spending a few days at the YWAM base there learning about cultural things and how to make sure that we are acting appropriate and such then heading to our first ministry called SHE. Here we will be working in the red light district and we are told it is spiritually the most heavy and draining ministry, but that's okay, we should have energy still at this point. From there we will be heading to work in schools, an orphanage and I'm not too sure what else that contact has for us, but some lighter work. And finally service at a village where we are able to sleep in tents and bathe in a river. I am so excited in all honesty and there is so much opportunity to physically serve here and literally be Jesus' hans and feet, that it's going to be a great way to end. I don't know much of the specifics, but as I know you will.
 I love you and miss you and wish you a Merry Christmas and encourage you to remember the reason for the season. It is so easy to get caught up, but take time you love! Thank you :)

remember : jesusfreaksvideo.com
LOVE YOU ALL!

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Weeks Nine and Ten YPDTS

So I got to go home last week which was pretty awesome. For the days before Wednesday, everyone was getting tired and antsy to go home, which caused everyone to be a little distant, but still good towards each other. I'm also not too sure what was the last thing that I wrote about so I'll try to hit all of the major things that have been happening in the last little while. Two days ago we got to go snowboarding! It was really fun and was the second time that I was able to go here in Denver. The first time that we went,  I ended with a really hard spill so I was a little hesitant on Friday, but with a little bit of prayer, God gave me a lot of confidence to hit the hill and I was able to improve so much. I know that there is not a  lot of eternal significance to the skill of my snowboarding, but it was really awesome to see how much God cares about the things that we care about.  I was very encouraged.
We have also been getting really close as a room. It's too bad that it's been such a long time coming, but we do have two weeks together still and we are having such a good time together. There is a mass tiredness spreading through the camp and a bit of sickness, so one morning all of us layed in bed, coming up with the most serious illness we could have that would cause us not to have to get up and experience the day. It's pretty ridiculous, but the comfort level has risen to a whole new level since we have been back from "Thanksgiving" and it's really great! Sad that we are all leaving each other so soon though.
I'll go back to the beginning though, Kevin Verone was our speaker for the three days that we had before our short break and it was really great since he just let us have time to process what we've learned. It's great for me having a lot of information thrown at us in the short time, but I and others have had a hard time reviewing what we've learned and being able to let it really sink in. So him just asking us to tell him what we've learned and expanding on points that we were foggy on was amazing. He also talked to us about what our identity should look like in Christ, very profound. He talked about how God, like a father, wants us to be able to make decisions that would make Him proud without Him having to tell us. It seems so simple, but it was something that never really registered to me before. I think it's so amazing that He has enable us to be His stewards without exact direction and it makes me very hungry to be reading His word and learn of His character as well as to be able to become comfortable in His presence. I feel confident that the decisions I make, will become more and more a reflection of Him, the more time that I spend with Him. I love how every new topic ignites the Holy Spirits fire within me again and makes me hungry to know Him more. God's crazy depth and mystery is awesome, I can be sure that I will never stop learning more about Him!
I was also able to spend time on that Monday to go on a local outreach like we do every week. We went to a place called confluence, and we were able to just do a prayer walk around a neighborhood who hasn't yet welcomed the Lord a lot. It was amazing the impressions God was putting on my heart though because I have never before felt the need to pray for a building, but that night I was drawn to one specifically and the words that flowed out of my mouth were definitely not mine. Not only the building though, I was walking down one street and I felt God telling me to claim the ground that we were walking on as His, and Holy ground. Seems crazy because it was just a sidewalk, but it was awesome how much I felt His presence with me that night.
After the short week, I headed back home!! It was so great to see my family again and the few friends that I could see, but I realized that getting back into a routine where I have to discipline myself is going to be crazy hard. I spend all day everyday, learning and loving on Jesus so when I am in an enviroment that isn't centred 100% around that I'm going to have to be strong all on my own and that scares me! I know that my family is there to support me and I appreciate the wisdom that they have for me, but it's just so different being here where all everyone is trying to do is be closer to Jesus. I think it was good for me to be able to have a little taste of what post-DTS is going to be like and to be able to recharge and see the people who know me best and love me! I didn't realize how much I missed everyone until I got home, but it's been amazing how God has been making me so content with where I'm at, wherever that is. I have been able to be almost stress free about the future and just so confident in what God has for me now and how I can be closer to Him, so I'm just ready to take on outreach and whatever else comes at me while I'm still here in Denver. I feel like I'm a missionary already, even though I'm not technically on the "mission field".
When I got back, I can't believe I've only been back for a week, but it felt almost surreal or like it was my first day at DTS again. I had a hard time feeling like I fit in again, but we jumped right back into outreach the next day and I was forced, thankfully, to get right back into the swing of things. Before outreach, since I had no laundry, I spent three and a half hours reading the latest book that we are assigned, "Peace Child", by Don Richards. I honestly could not put the book down and I am so excited to go to heaven to hang out with some of the inspiring Sawi men. I would suggest the book to anyone who can handle a little bit of evil, before redemption. Then I had a very relaxing outreach, where I got to paint art supply bags for a non-profit called "Art For the Nations". It was a nice, simple way to get back into serving Jesus.
This week we had class on Bible Study and I am, for the first time, confident that I have the tools to understand what God wants to tell me through the Bible. I have never been confident in understanding what He wants to say to me, but I realized that I shouldn't be stressing out about what the Bible says to other people and how I can understand it in the deepest way possible. God just wants me to be able to relax in His presence and be someone that I love being around and feel comfortable with instead of someone that I feel that i always have to prove myself to. This should have been something that I always felt, but it actually was a revelation the Holy Spirit gave to me and I am so excited to begin this new way of reading in Isaiah. We also learend a lot about how to lead Bible Studies, use concordances and all of the real in depth stuff that I think will help me a lot. I also have a desire to learn Greek so that I can just understand the New Testament in it's original form. But I can't see that being a realistic plan, so I'll take it as it comes.
We also had Thailand/Colombia team meetings and God has putting the idea of passionate prayer on my heart for our team. He just showed me that He wants us to be so broken for the pain and injustice going on around us and that when we pray, we need to be so full of passion and want to be praying for everything that we choose or He chooses us to pray for. I struggle with my prayer life, but it's something that God's working in me with and I am excited that He is revealing to me, the farthest thing from a prayer warrior, that this is what He has planned for us doing His work. It's really amazing how He is moving in us all here.
It's been great to see people come out of their shells and find their identites in Christ. Being able to fellowship with believers who are all at different places but all wanting the same thing and learning together is the most valuable thing that God has given me and I am so excited that He has been pursueing me the way that He has.
Today was an amazing example of the relentless pursuit He has for me. I have been struggling to get back into the groove a hundred percent because I had a set schedule and idea down that worked for me, but today He pulled me back in again. I was running alone after church and I went much farther than I do when I was in my group. I felt God wanted me to listen to worship music and like every other run, I focussed on prayer instead of the physical exertion. The first person that I felt to pray for, I later found out was being prayed for by all of the girls here and that she was having a really hard and discouraging day which was soo cool. Then I was praying for people as well as thinking about the sermon that we were assigned to prepare for our outreachs. As I was invisioning what I would say, God took hold of my heart and was like "Hey Karly, this is what I've been trying to say to you." It was crazy how thinking about Jesus hanging on the cross, taking all of our sins inside Himself! Just because He loves us got to me like it did when I first decided to commit my life to Christ. I was so broken and He once again unleashed the tears for me so that I could be overcome with His presence. I scared a man on His horse, but it was so symbolic of the safety that I have in God and that He cares about me not only spiritually, but emotionally and physically too! Ah it was the most amazing run I have ever experienced and I am so excited to be able to dedicate my physical body to God's work too, even in times of excersize. It has been a rollercoaster of  a couple weeks, but I am excited to see what God has in store for us and ready for outreach. We need prayer for safety and still support for a few of our teams members.
Once again, please check out the Jesus Freaks videos that are continuously being posted and make them part of your blog, website or facebook status. We want to start an epidemic!
http://www.jesusfreaksmovie.com/
Also in case you are interested, the music God has been using to really get my soul started lately is United Pursuit Band. They are amazing and are dedicated to following the Holy Spirits leading