My final weeks of DTS lecture phase. I am currently in "outreach mode" but still in Colorado.
The last two weeks have been a little different, but good. They weren't as emotional for me as the earlier ones, but I think it's a good thing and it's getting me prepared for the strength God will have for me in the spiritual oppression of Thailand. We had a speaker who did a really good job of making Bible Study seem fun and possible for anyone to do. She just spent time in getting us comfortable in our Bibles as well as with concordances and what sort of questions are appropriate for each type of audience. The next week we had different speakers who spoke on different aspects of missions and worship. There are so many ways to live a missional life and I really feel God's tug on me to be involved. I know that there is a lot going on in our own backyard that we can be a part of, but I am excited to be part of the international great commission and know that God is backing me one hundred percent. The different speakers made me question a bit how God would have me be involved in reconciliation of mankind, but it's exciting to know that taking baby-stepes will allow Him to guide me into where He would have me. I have been struggling with the idea of "what's next" since lecture phase is now over and outreach is only two months. I am trying to seek God on what He has for me and in what time, but as my face tells I am stressed out and having a hard time hearing His call for me. I realize that I am only eighteen though, which makes it easier for me to know that I have time and it's not too late for me to change my mind or have a new direction from God. I really want what I want though so it's been a battle letting that go and making it about serving and not about how it will benefit me. The deeper I get into the humility, the deeper I get into realizing that I am a lot more in love with myself than I ever thought. That's okay though, because I know that God will complete the work that He has started in me and it's a marathon not a sprint.
Anyway that is what has been going on internally a bit, but as a collective I have been learning a lot about what it means to live in true community and to really love people, "thinking of myself less instead of thinking less of myself" (Pastor Jay from Vineyard). Our one speaker that same week spoke on different ways that we are able to worship, one of which being giving things of monetary value. I struggle with this so much. I love the things that I have been blessed with to the point that they become higher to me than the blessing and the "bless-er". So we each had time to seek God if He had something that He wanted us to remove from priority and use to submit to Him all the more and give Him control once again. So as I took it to Him, I denied every idea that popped into my head and told myself that it didn't matter what I gave that anything was good, but God made it clear that wasn't His plan. So I gave away valuable things to my heart and it ended up being great. God used it to bring our community together as a family and to have a hunger to serve each other instead of thinking what we could gain. That whole week was one of unity and being the true body of Christ and there was an attitude of recognizing the value of a human, instead of the things that they can do for you. It's so weird to think that even being in the body of Christ, people aren't held as valuable as they should be, when we are told that this is the case over and over. I was able to be in a community that really felt this though, which was amazing for all of us and I hope that I will be able to remember that for ALL people that I meet. Unlikely, but God is more powerful than any evil I could scheme up, so I have faith that His pursuit will be life-long with me and me of Him. So in essence, it was a great week, sad that it occurred so late in the quarter, but better than never.
We also had an event called a Christmas Love Feast on the Saturday which was so great! It hasn't felt like Christmas at all here, odd since we are focused on Christ, but this really just brought the spirit alive. We spent the whole day cooking and preparing ourselves and each other for the night and I don't know if I've ever curled that much hair in one sitting in my life. I'm not sure that anyone ever has to be honest, but people were looking beautiful. It was nice for all of us to be able to look our best and have fun with each other and each of us had drawn a name earlier in the week that we would make a little box for with an encouragement note in it. The anticipation might have been what made it so fun, but we were each told to, as a room, make a love offering for the rest of the school. It was a pretty way of saying we were having a mandatory talent show but since a lot of us don't have a specific talent we wanted to show the world, the majority were hilarious. My room took all of our outreach drama's and dances and made them into a big dance all combined, completely ridiculous, but there was joy in the room - so it was so worth it. The next night we went to a fancy Italian restaurant where we were all able to dress up again and have fun. All together a fun and unifying weekend. The next night, unplanned, we went to B-Dubs and watched people eat more wings that should be humanly possible and watched a football game. All these little things together made the last week go out with a bang and all of us realize how much we enjoy each other. I love the small things that do that for a group.
Week Twelve was sad knowing that this was it for us as a group. We had class with the director of the base and the other DTS that is living down at the base in Arvada, the Musicians. We talked about being prepared for the battle field we are entering into and being able to recognize that it is a supernatural fight we need to be involved in. Asking God for true discernment in seeing where His heart is in all of the nations we are heading to and to be able to really look beyond what we see. Knowing that we are going to be attacked by the enemy because we are doing what he hates, but that the Holy Spirit is going with us the whole time and the authority that the name of Jesus gives us. Satan and death has been defeated already by Jesus, so we just need to be His hands and feet and make the choice to defeat the enemy daily so that the cross wasn't in vain. Peter Warren (the director) was a very good speaker, so I have about 12 million pages of notes, but I feel so much more prepared for the battle ahead of me and I have a peace that has been long awaited for the whole idea of outreach.
This week was also one of getting everything cleaned up and packing our bags for the next DTS to come in. I am thee biggest girl on the planet for sure because I wasn't more stressed about anything this whole quarter than trying to fit all of my stuff into my bags so that I can fly home in February. Resulting, I am giving away a few things that I definitely don't need when I get home and I sent a package back early - I pack heavy apparently. That's okay though because it all worked out and I am ready to go. We as a school came down for the secondary school's graduations and for our last day as a whole YPDTS. We had some outreach shopping we had to do and then after that and the grad we all went bowling! Possibly the most ridiculous sport for amateurs, but a good time and enjoyable way for us all to say goodbye. It was really hard that whole day during worship to pray for each other knowing that we were going to be leaving and this was the icing on the cake, but it's cool to know how God is going to be working in Colombia and Thailand through a bunch of students who worked through their own issues together for a few months. I am encouraged at how powerful God is that He can use a bunch of us who are struggling ourselves to be a change all over the world. I find power in my weakness here, because the lower I place myself, the higher He can be. I want to be able to do this in all parts of my life and for God to break me over and over as we are away from comfort and with a group of people who all have different ideas, opinions and personalities. I ask for a net of prayer over our team that we can be unified and not allow the enemy to use anything against us to break from each other. Part of this is holding short accounts with each other and choosing not to take offence to the slip ups each other have. I struggle with this too and it has been our team prayer, so I am excited to see how it all shapes up and the sort of things God can do if we give Him control and walk in obedience.
I'm not sure how often I'll be able to get these out while I don't have a computer, internet access and electricity in some areas and even lacking a bed in others, but I will do my best to keep you updates as much as possible.
We are flying out on Wednesday at 7am and will be arriving in Bangkok around 11pm our time. It's a 16 hour time change, which should take a few days of adjustment, but we're going to get ourselves in Thailand mode the day before if at all possible. We will be spending a few days at the YWAM base there learning about cultural things and how to make sure that we are acting appropriate and such then heading to our first ministry called SHE. Here we will be working in the red light district and we are told it is spiritually the most heavy and draining ministry, but that's okay, we should have energy still at this point. From there we will be heading to work in schools, an orphanage and I'm not too sure what else that contact has for us, but some lighter work. And finally service at a village where we are able to sleep in tents and bathe in a river. I am so excited in all honesty and there is so much opportunity to physically serve here and literally be Jesus' hans and feet, that it's going to be a great way to end. I don't know much of the specifics, but as I know you will.
I love you and miss you and wish you a Merry Christmas and encourage you to remember the reason for the season. It is so easy to get caught up, but take time you love! Thank you :)
remember : jesusfreaksvideo.com
LOVE YOU ALL!
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