Wow - I have so much new passion to listen to Gods call for my life after this experience. I have 95 little Thai girl shaped holes in my heart and I want to be able to hang out with all of them for another year of my life, but the little time that I got to spend with them was worth how hard it was to leave them. We each had a little group of girls that we were designated to meet with, but most of the time we all just hung out as a group of over a hundred people who were loving Jesus and each other.
Every day during the day time while the girls were at school, we went to different schools around the area to show the dramas that we had learned back in Colorado as well as teach English. We were able to give our testimonies and explain who Jesus is and such with the dances and dramas as ice breakers and it made it a lot easier for us to get into the primarily Buddhist schools, since we were offering to help the students with their English. It was cool to be able to talk with them and play with them when we didn't have an organized event to be involved in and even though we had a major language barrier, joy was universal. When we were at the primary and secondary schools we perfected "stella, ella ola" and musical chairs - but the high schools allowed for a little more. The second day we went to a school on child appreciation day. It was really cool because we just joined them in their celebration and it reminded me a lot of the last day of school when you get to be part of organized events and win prizes. There were tons of relays and silly games for the kids to play and we were asked to organize games and of course be involved with them. Well the one that I got to be part of was, you tied a eggplant by a string around your waste and let it hang in between your legs. You then had to give this eggplant momentum to hit a table tennis ball across a little section of a soccer field. HA! We were so brutal and looked absolutely ridiculous!! We did win some cool snacks though and the kids were always willing and a little hurt if we didn't take some of the snacks that they had. We were never in short supply of a variety of snacks and drinks when we were in a group of kids and it was amazing to just see how the whole culture is one of generosity. It's so crazy to me, but I love it! So that was awesome to be able to just have fun with them and they really started to love us at every school quite quickly.
Apparently being white and north american gets you some major status here beause every school that we went to we were surrounded with people to love on us and some were a little more crazy than others. There are two boys on our team that were absolutely gawked everywhere we went. When they would introduce themselves in front of the school, all of the girls, no matter what age (literally teachers included) would scream and take out their phones and cameras to take pictures. After we were done dramas, they would crowd around and ask for autographs from all of us and some of us had a line of people waiting to take pictures. I was called Taylor Swift, Barbie, Jessica Simpson, Angelina Jolie (SALT) and every other blonde, famous person every where we went. At one school girls came up to us and got us to sign their school uniforms - I honestly didn't even know what to do, it was so insane. Also I was names Miss.Universe and my friend from Mexico Mr.Thai - so we aqcuired many new identities after each shcool adventure. But I have a lot of new facebook friends which is really cool and each one of them was so beautiful. It's just crazy to see how big of a deal visitors are to a school and how we were always treated with such respect, fed well, greeted with such warmth and always felt that we were very special. This was even more amazing because the message that we had to share was life! and by being something exciting for the day made everyone more eager to be around us and come to the assemblies and such that we were leading. It was really cool to be able to take the message of Jesus and especially His love to a whole body of students. There won't be too many times when I'll be able to be part of something like this and our team was very in tuned with the Holy Spirit and His leading - making the time seem "successful" if that word can even be used when it comes to being Jesus' hands and feet.
Teaching English is a lot harder than you'd think it would be and for most of the time we just worked on pronunciation with the kids since they already new the legisitics of a lot. These people are so much more dedicated and well rounded than back home because it is expected. It's crazy how fast they catch on to speaking english, games or anything if they just push beyond the embarassment enough to try and not run away from us or the challenge. It's a whole new world over here. On that idea I realized I forgot to talk about how many public places don't have western toilets and instead squatti potties. Even if there is an american toilet though, toilet paper doesn't flush though so if you do get to wipe, you have to throw it in the garbage. BUT most places don't offer toilet paper so if you would like to wipe you have to bring it in yourself or some more "high class" places have a spray nozel to clean yourself off with. It really is a different culture ha. Also finding ants in your honey for breakfast is an extremely normal experience, so cleanliness is really not my biggest concern as of now - I fit in great!
Now about the girls at the Home of Blessing. Well first, the pastors daughter, named Nikki, was our translator at all of the schools and one of the sweetest people I have ever met. She is only 20 years old and has dedicated a huge part of her life to loving these girls and helping her parents facilitate english speaking teams that want to come in to help out. She is a lot of fun also and we became really good friends spending most of our time there together. I will talk about her more as we go though. We were able to have some awesome worship times with the girls and be part of bible stufy with the min the mornings also. It was brutal to wake up at 5:15 am, but hearing them sing their Thai worship songs was so worth it and at such a young age they can spend 10 minutes, easily, praying for each other, their families and whatever else God is putting on their hearts. They each have to lead bible study for their groups on saturdays and some of them are 8 years old. I am 18 and can't even lead a bible study hardly and 8 year olds are taking scriputre and expanding on it for fresh revelation to the rest of the group of 10 or so girls. It is so amazing and the discipline and intensity they have in being Christians is amazing and I wish thatr I could be as dedicated to my relationship with Christ, but I am fickle. He is teaching me not to live in condemnation there though, that it's okay that I struggle sometimes but just to take Him with me. And though I wasn't able to spend as much personal time with God, I was always immersed in His Spirit. Each day I wouldn't realize how much of His strength I was tapping into until I would journal and realize all of the amazing things that had happened that wouldn't normally happen to me. I am starting to recognize Him in everything which is how it's supposed to be, but I was never able to do that before. The supernatural realm is so real and involved in everything and there is nothing that works beyond it's forces! I love that He is showing me that now.
If the schools were a big deal, enormous would be the best way to describe hanging out with the girls. They honestly had the love of Christ in them so hard core it was crazy and it was spilling out all over to each other and especially us. Every time that we had free time at all and were with them they would buy so many snacks and give us half or more. These girls all come from families who don't have enough money to support them, but the small amount that they had, they were more than willing to share with us with so much joy! There aren't a lot of words that would describe these girls, but they are completely filled with Jesus and are moving in their schools and such a support system to each other. The older ones take care of the younger, and the younger the younger still - since the pastor and his family is unable to be with all 95 at once - it ios seriously amazing and driven completely by love!
We were able to hang out with them in the settings of bible study, worship times and just playing games, but the last night was more amazing than the rest. We were able to teach them some of our dramas and dances so that they could use them when they go into the surrounding villages to share the good news. Our hard work resulted in a BBQ of American food for the girls and a dance party! They loved it. It's not often that they get to be out of structured time and just be silly withthe people that they love - but being part of it with them was so awesome. It allowed all of us to just let go and be silly also, which unfortunately/fortunately bonded us more, making the goodbye even worse. After the dancing, silly time, we all said a little goodbye and appreciation for how they changed our lives and they wanted to do the same. We got into our little groups and each of the older girls in the group brought us a gift. I seriously wanted to cry because they have hardly enough money for anything for themeselves, but they go and buy each of us a gift to remember them by. They even remembered our favorite colors for bracelets - the small gift that we were able to give them a few nights earlier, paled into comparison to what we recieved. But the cool thing is it wasn't about gifts, after we were all done wearing and/or admiring the physical representation of what we recieved, we just stood with each other and hugged. Singing songs of the appreciation of meeting before heaven and being inspired to go into the world and be Jesus' hands and feet. It was an extremely hard night, but the tears that we saw there were multiplied in huge supply when the actual departure happened the next day. Fortunately I got to have a sleepover with Nikkie that night to get some of our goodbye out before we had to do everyone at once. So the next day was packing and cleaning day - but since it was saturday only a few girls were at school. This was really hard not being able to be with them but a little easier too beacause we knew we had to leave. When it was time that we were actually loading up, the girls got into the last hug line we would ever see and everyone was able to hold each other for a brief goodbye, for most of us until heaven. But I made it through everyone and was going to load the big truck and then our lovely girl Lidia runs up from school. Wow that girl is going to change the world and is gifted in seriously every area that I know of, but her tears were the catalyst to mine. I truly loved her as a sister and friend in God. I was able to encourage her of the impact she is going to be on the world and the kingdom of God, but I don't think that her humble heart will ever have her realize how great she is - probably the reason why she is so incredibly effective. Saying goodbye to Nikkie at the bus station was another not awesome experience, but we get to meet again and I am certain of that which makes the goodbyes so much easier. The dance party that we had in Home of Blessing is nothing compared to the joyful dance that is going to happen when we are with the author of joy as the perfect body and bride!
http://www.jesusfreaksmovie.com/
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Week Three - Outreach
I can understand why people think that outreach just passes them by, things are going ridiculously fast and I'm not sure what "making the most of your outreach" looks like, but I'm giving it a personal spin. I think it is supposed to look different for everyone and from what I can see, our team has been doing a pretty good job of "digging deep" and I would say that I am the majority who is doing their best to take it all in. God is making Himself present in new ways every time that I find myself giving it my all and the more that I depend on Him and ask Him for help, I find that my joy is exponentially more obvious and contagious as when I decide to work out of myself. Though it is a matter of depending on God, I find that everyday and in every situation I need to choose it. God and I are partners in living out the works He has for me and these people, not a dictatorship.
Tuesday was our last day at SHE and it was really sad having to say goodbye to all of the girls that we had made friends with Monday evening. I was able to talk to all of the girls that I am the closest with and even invite a few to SHE with broken communication but obvious concern and love. I even gave a few of the girls silly bands and it looked so funny with their high heels and little dresses, but I loved that it seemed like such a restoration of innocence. That night we were also ablet to have a few of our worship leaders (YWAM Denver and Auckland) play at a bar on Soi Sea Dragon! It was amazing to hear worship music in the midst of all of the club beats playing and people ten feet over taking shots and treating each other as objects. The owner of the bar said that he doesn't know what it is about the people who come to play worship, but the whole place has a peace over it so he has continued to invite them back. God is showing up all over the place! It was so enouraging to be there and just being so aware that this is still Gods territory and He has already defeated the enemy! There is absolutely no evil that can outshine the goodness of our God and that was so awesome to say the least. Every night that we were down there, we obviously had to depend on the Holy Spirit for directions and promptings, but the almost physical tangibilty of His presence made that night more joyful than any other even though we had to say goodbye. The realiztion that this is probably my only chance to ever meet these people set in once again and I was able to come to the point where fear of man took a back seat to the work that God had for me and I didn't care if people thought I was crazy or bold. I was so confident that God would not have me go out and make His name be tainted, so as long as I felt the prompting of God, I went for it! Sometimes it was more bold than others, but either way the personal edification of obedience was enough to make the possible insecurity worth it. God is so faithful! At times I am so worried about me that I forget that and then the next day I don't even understand how I could forget that. So God is doing a lot of work in me still and I love it.
The next day we went up to one of the highest mountains overlooking Phuket, where "Big Buddha" is. This is a 45 meter high idol that almost the whole city can see. It was crazy to go up there and see elephants and other huge trees on the drive, but these things looked like specks compared to the marble god watching the city, forest and ocean. The view was beautiful but hard to see because whatever we were able to see from this high point, could also see at least the head, and empty eyes, of Buddha. We were able to go and pray over the place and remind the ground and peices of marble that our God is, and I think I already wrote about this so i'm going to move on.
We didn't have much time after that, cleaning, eating and packing to do much so we said goodbye to Mark, Sharon their family, YWAM Auckland team and the girls at SHE and headed out to the far north of Thailand. Farewell super sucks, but I was excited to sleep for a solid 12 hours on the bus to Bangkok, so it made it a little easier. So yes, we spent 12 hours on a bus that was quite cramped and small, where I got very little sleep, but we made it to Bangkok in one piece and I was able to get close with some team members that I had not yet spent a ton of time with. Odd to think that since we are all together 24/7 practically, but it is easy to distance yourself from some and cling to others if you choose to - so all that said I enjoyed getting closer to my friends even though I was dead tired for the day. We had about 8 hours in Bangkok and then back onto a bus up to Chang Kham, about 10 hours, in the nicest bus I have ever been in my life! The snacks were coming faster than I could eat them and we got a dinner, tons of leg room, pillows and practically down comforters and the ride/sleep was sweet. We arrived to Chang Kham and then to our next ministry location at 5:30 am-ish where there were 95 girls awake and cleaning the area that we were coming into. This location is a home where girls can come if their parents don't have enough money to support them and sen them to school and such. Most of these girls if not here, would have ended up in the sex industry either now as a child, or when they were the age of 18. This pastor and his wife take as many girls as they are able to take at a time and offer them a place to live, learn and most of all hear about Jesus their saviour. It is an amazing establishment and the small portion of their testimony that I have heard inspires me to be an ambassador of God only. So the girls wake up at 5:00 am to do bible study, then cleaning and preparing breakfast. After that they head to school and come back to play, prepare dinner and do chores and I'm not sure how the schedule works in between dinner and 8:00 pm, but at 8 they have an hour and a half time slot to study, all of them. I have never seen a group of kids who are so well behaved and willing to do whatever it is that they are asked/assigned, I want to take them all home with me! I don't think one kid I know could last a day being so well held together as these young ladies are. So we were warned that this would be the case, but we hit the ground running as soon as we got here on Thursday. We went into the house of the head pastor where we had the most amazing breakfast I think I have ever seen. The spread was phenomenal and after cornflakes and cream every morning our team felt as though we were in heaven! The crazy thing is, is that this wasn't just a welcome day awesome meal time experience, every meal has been one of the best things I've ever tasted! Friday we even got a mennonite style breakfast with a Thai twist to it! There is a very large chance that I will be gaining weight at this location. As soon as we finished breakfast we headed to our first school where we got to try out our dramas, skits and dances and see if any of us are made to be english teachers. Let me tell you, teaching english to kindergarten students is most definitely not my gift. The dramas went alright, but I honestly busted hard core at attempting to teach these 5 year olds anything but head, shoulders, knees and toes. My team mates and I came out with a light heart, but the realization our presence was about all that we could offer in that classroom. That the teacher struggled a lot with english only made the time a little harder, but the cool thing was that we were able to play games with the kids with absolutely no problem. It's awesome to see how fun is so cross cultural and at the primary and early seconardy school age, we all enjoy much of the same things. So games went well and we got to bring a little more joy to the country of Thailand that day which was totally worth feeling like a fool trying to teach english.
When we got back to our location we were able to meet the girls at the home and they greeted us as we were leaving our dinner house standing all in rows of 9 or so holding beautiful red roses. As we each introduced ourselves they greeted us back with a bow and Sawadee kah and were attentive through all 23 names, ages and home name. They all came up to give us roses and I got 7! I have never had 7 roses in my whole entire life!!! I felt like the most special person on the planet and after they did a sign language dance for us that was beautiful and shouldn't be possible to be memorized by 8 year olds. This culture is one of perfection and intricacy, they proved this over and over throughout the time we have been here already. I honestly don't know how to describe the way that they looked and sounded besides completely angelic - to the point where I am going to choose Kai a wife here ha ha, [Just kidding Mom, he's got 20 more years or so]. In the midst of the beauty if their unison, God was putting on my heart just how valuable each and every one of them is and how they are such a part of His perfect plan. We were told earlier that sometimes girls have to go home early to help their families and other times just when they are completely school, but in both cases they have seen their entire village choose Christ becuase of the testimony of the girl who went home. Entire villages! At 8-18 years old I don't think I would even talk to all of the people in my village, never mind trying to get them to turn from a god they are comfortable with to the one that I have found to be true, but these girls are! This made me so inspired to just listen to God's plan like this man had so that I could change the world for Him! 95 + girls at a time for the last 18 years, heaven has been exponentially increase by this family stepping out in obedience to God's call to care for children. The citizens that we so often ignore or degrade with terms like "when they are ready" or "when their generation rises up", it has risen! If we could all have the faith and love like they do, we could be brining whole communities to truth also. After this intense moment with God, He also gave me the dawning that at least some of these girls if not here, would be getting their bodies sold and raped at that very moment. Bangkok is second to only Atlanta for sex trafficking the ENTIRE WORLD and they are near the top for child sex trafficking. If they weren't already being abused as a child by the time that they were old enough to choose, obligation would send them down to the area I had just been in to make enough money to send back home to their families. God's pursuit on their lives is so obvious and incredible! I had about the most intense 3 adn a half minutes, or one song of my life - but passion was stirring in my and I once again gave my whole life up to God to do as He chooses with it. So I fell in love with them instantly which is saying a lot since I don't have a natural ability to appreciate children - God is working once again. Though they were all amazing, there was one girl that caught my eye/heart right away and she really resembled someone that had been part of my life in the past. I wasn't sure if that was why she was on my heart or if God was putting her there, so I prayed that I would be able to get to know her more in the short 10 days we were here. Each of us were able to be with a group of girls, that is already made as a team to meet for bible studies, prayer and accountability from what I understand, and be sort of week "leaders". Well they definitely take care of each other so they are leading us. My prayer partner and I got a group of girls ages 8-18 and all extrememly beautiful and fun! That girl who was immediately on my heart is in it! God is speaking to me already - YAY! We spent half an hour briefly getting to know each other and playing games and it felt like it was 10 mintues. I just wanted to be able to spend more time with these girls and love them.
The next day looked similar and one of us each day is sharing our testimony at 5:30 - I actually volunteered for next friday! So I pray that God blesses me with energy and words to say because i don't have a ton of faith in myself at this point.
I'm going to write about the whole experience in the next blog though so there is a more complete view of what is going on at Home of Blessing and the schools that we will be going to. Thank you, I love you and am excited to share the sweet stuff in person with you :)
http://www.jesusfreaksmovie.com/
Keep praying for our team please! Complacency would be a good thing to pray against if possible - thanks
Tuesday was our last day at SHE and it was really sad having to say goodbye to all of the girls that we had made friends with Monday evening. I was able to talk to all of the girls that I am the closest with and even invite a few to SHE with broken communication but obvious concern and love. I even gave a few of the girls silly bands and it looked so funny with their high heels and little dresses, but I loved that it seemed like such a restoration of innocence. That night we were also ablet to have a few of our worship leaders (YWAM Denver and Auckland) play at a bar on Soi Sea Dragon! It was amazing to hear worship music in the midst of all of the club beats playing and people ten feet over taking shots and treating each other as objects. The owner of the bar said that he doesn't know what it is about the people who come to play worship, but the whole place has a peace over it so he has continued to invite them back. God is showing up all over the place! It was so enouraging to be there and just being so aware that this is still Gods territory and He has already defeated the enemy! There is absolutely no evil that can outshine the goodness of our God and that was so awesome to say the least. Every night that we were down there, we obviously had to depend on the Holy Spirit for directions and promptings, but the almost physical tangibilty of His presence made that night more joyful than any other even though we had to say goodbye. The realiztion that this is probably my only chance to ever meet these people set in once again and I was able to come to the point where fear of man took a back seat to the work that God had for me and I didn't care if people thought I was crazy or bold. I was so confident that God would not have me go out and make His name be tainted, so as long as I felt the prompting of God, I went for it! Sometimes it was more bold than others, but either way the personal edification of obedience was enough to make the possible insecurity worth it. God is so faithful! At times I am so worried about me that I forget that and then the next day I don't even understand how I could forget that. So God is doing a lot of work in me still and I love it.
The next day we went up to one of the highest mountains overlooking Phuket, where "Big Buddha" is. This is a 45 meter high idol that almost the whole city can see. It was crazy to go up there and see elephants and other huge trees on the drive, but these things looked like specks compared to the marble god watching the city, forest and ocean. The view was beautiful but hard to see because whatever we were able to see from this high point, could also see at least the head, and empty eyes, of Buddha. We were able to go and pray over the place and remind the ground and peices of marble that our God is, and I think I already wrote about this so i'm going to move on.
We didn't have much time after that, cleaning, eating and packing to do much so we said goodbye to Mark, Sharon their family, YWAM Auckland team and the girls at SHE and headed out to the far north of Thailand. Farewell super sucks, but I was excited to sleep for a solid 12 hours on the bus to Bangkok, so it made it a little easier. So yes, we spent 12 hours on a bus that was quite cramped and small, where I got very little sleep, but we made it to Bangkok in one piece and I was able to get close with some team members that I had not yet spent a ton of time with. Odd to think that since we are all together 24/7 practically, but it is easy to distance yourself from some and cling to others if you choose to - so all that said I enjoyed getting closer to my friends even though I was dead tired for the day. We had about 8 hours in Bangkok and then back onto a bus up to Chang Kham, about 10 hours, in the nicest bus I have ever been in my life! The snacks were coming faster than I could eat them and we got a dinner, tons of leg room, pillows and practically down comforters and the ride/sleep was sweet. We arrived to Chang Kham and then to our next ministry location at 5:30 am-ish where there were 95 girls awake and cleaning the area that we were coming into. This location is a home where girls can come if their parents don't have enough money to support them and sen them to school and such. Most of these girls if not here, would have ended up in the sex industry either now as a child, or when they were the age of 18. This pastor and his wife take as many girls as they are able to take at a time and offer them a place to live, learn and most of all hear about Jesus their saviour. It is an amazing establishment and the small portion of their testimony that I have heard inspires me to be an ambassador of God only. So the girls wake up at 5:00 am to do bible study, then cleaning and preparing breakfast. After that they head to school and come back to play, prepare dinner and do chores and I'm not sure how the schedule works in between dinner and 8:00 pm, but at 8 they have an hour and a half time slot to study, all of them. I have never seen a group of kids who are so well behaved and willing to do whatever it is that they are asked/assigned, I want to take them all home with me! I don't think one kid I know could last a day being so well held together as these young ladies are. So we were warned that this would be the case, but we hit the ground running as soon as we got here on Thursday. We went into the house of the head pastor where we had the most amazing breakfast I think I have ever seen. The spread was phenomenal and after cornflakes and cream every morning our team felt as though we were in heaven! The crazy thing is, is that this wasn't just a welcome day awesome meal time experience, every meal has been one of the best things I've ever tasted! Friday we even got a mennonite style breakfast with a Thai twist to it! There is a very large chance that I will be gaining weight at this location. As soon as we finished breakfast we headed to our first school where we got to try out our dramas, skits and dances and see if any of us are made to be english teachers. Let me tell you, teaching english to kindergarten students is most definitely not my gift. The dramas went alright, but I honestly busted hard core at attempting to teach these 5 year olds anything but head, shoulders, knees and toes. My team mates and I came out with a light heart, but the realization our presence was about all that we could offer in that classroom. That the teacher struggled a lot with english only made the time a little harder, but the cool thing was that we were able to play games with the kids with absolutely no problem. It's awesome to see how fun is so cross cultural and at the primary and early seconardy school age, we all enjoy much of the same things. So games went well and we got to bring a little more joy to the country of Thailand that day which was totally worth feeling like a fool trying to teach english.
When we got back to our location we were able to meet the girls at the home and they greeted us as we were leaving our dinner house standing all in rows of 9 or so holding beautiful red roses. As we each introduced ourselves they greeted us back with a bow and Sawadee kah and were attentive through all 23 names, ages and home name. They all came up to give us roses and I got 7! I have never had 7 roses in my whole entire life!!! I felt like the most special person on the planet and after they did a sign language dance for us that was beautiful and shouldn't be possible to be memorized by 8 year olds. This culture is one of perfection and intricacy, they proved this over and over throughout the time we have been here already. I honestly don't know how to describe the way that they looked and sounded besides completely angelic - to the point where I am going to choose Kai a wife here ha ha, [Just kidding Mom, he's got 20 more years or so]. In the midst of the beauty if their unison, God was putting on my heart just how valuable each and every one of them is and how they are such a part of His perfect plan. We were told earlier that sometimes girls have to go home early to help their families and other times just when they are completely school, but in both cases they have seen their entire village choose Christ becuase of the testimony of the girl who went home. Entire villages! At 8-18 years old I don't think I would even talk to all of the people in my village, never mind trying to get them to turn from a god they are comfortable with to the one that I have found to be true, but these girls are! This made me so inspired to just listen to God's plan like this man had so that I could change the world for Him! 95 + girls at a time for the last 18 years, heaven has been exponentially increase by this family stepping out in obedience to God's call to care for children. The citizens that we so often ignore or degrade with terms like "when they are ready" or "when their generation rises up", it has risen! If we could all have the faith and love like they do, we could be brining whole communities to truth also. After this intense moment with God, He also gave me the dawning that at least some of these girls if not here, would be getting their bodies sold and raped at that very moment. Bangkok is second to only Atlanta for sex trafficking the ENTIRE WORLD and they are near the top for child sex trafficking. If they weren't already being abused as a child by the time that they were old enough to choose, obligation would send them down to the area I had just been in to make enough money to send back home to their families. God's pursuit on their lives is so obvious and incredible! I had about the most intense 3 adn a half minutes, or one song of my life - but passion was stirring in my and I once again gave my whole life up to God to do as He chooses with it. So I fell in love with them instantly which is saying a lot since I don't have a natural ability to appreciate children - God is working once again. Though they were all amazing, there was one girl that caught my eye/heart right away and she really resembled someone that had been part of my life in the past. I wasn't sure if that was why she was on my heart or if God was putting her there, so I prayed that I would be able to get to know her more in the short 10 days we were here. Each of us were able to be with a group of girls, that is already made as a team to meet for bible studies, prayer and accountability from what I understand, and be sort of week "leaders". Well they definitely take care of each other so they are leading us. My prayer partner and I got a group of girls ages 8-18 and all extrememly beautiful and fun! That girl who was immediately on my heart is in it! God is speaking to me already - YAY! We spent half an hour briefly getting to know each other and playing games and it felt like it was 10 mintues. I just wanted to be able to spend more time with these girls and love them.
The next day looked similar and one of us each day is sharing our testimony at 5:30 - I actually volunteered for next friday! So I pray that God blesses me with energy and words to say because i don't have a ton of faith in myself at this point.
I'm going to write about the whole experience in the next blog though so there is a more complete view of what is going on at Home of Blessing and the schools that we will be going to. Thank you, I love you and am excited to share the sweet stuff in person with you :)
http://www.jesusfreaksmovie.com/
Keep praying for our team please! Complacency would be a good thing to pray against if possible - thanks
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Week Two - Outreach
Ministry time begins. We started getting prepared to go out into the red light district each day by prayer walking the bar area before we went to do ministry. The first day, Monday, we all got mentally/spiritually prepared before we even did the prayer walk and walking into the streets was one of the most heavy feelings of my life. I am not so in-tuned with the spiritual realities and even though I hear from the Lord, I find it hard to tell if people are experiencing evil spirits or even the Holy Spirit, but walking down these streets were obviously surrounded by so much evil invitation you couldn't not feel it. As I walked I found myself physically nauseated and for the first time in a long time, I wanted to cry with empathy. I and the rest of the team spent about an hour and a half learning the layout and seeking guidance of where God would have us concentrate our time on, which some of us did every day that we went down for ministry. It was so depressing to me to see that at 130 in the afternoon, there were bars that were already half full of people drinking so much that they wouldn't have been able to even make it to the night. The beach was right at the end of the road and it was constantly full and next to the beach and the bars there are little shops all over. I'll explain the layout a bit: we concentrated only on one road, "Bangla", where the majority of the bars and ladies are. So on the west side there are bigger bars and shops that are all parallel to each other and there is only one row. On the east, each couple hundred meters juts into a little street called a "Soi" and there were probably 7 or so that were full of little bars. Each bar is small/close enough that you could talk to someone that is at the bar next to you and each Soi has around 20 bars. It was one of the most desperate and empty things I have ever seen. In the daytime, it was dead and taking time to be set up, but the junk that was invited there by people at night lingered and was waiting to greet them again when they returned. So many bars had poles in place on the table top where drinks were served, there were more stools than I thought people could dwell in at one time and stages in a few were girls would be auctioned off and then go to the hotel that was attached to that top of the bar. It was so easy to live in sin there because everything was easy to access and encouraged! Like I said before, the beach was welcoming at the end of Bangla and men would often take the ladies they bought there the next day or otherwise it was a place where tourists could meet other tourists and often the same things would go on in those settings. Men would often come and buy girls for a month at a time, and the girls would call these men their boyfriends, it was one of the hardest things that I have ever heard. There is just so much de-value of what a human life and body is worth that making friends with these girls, then hearing they were waiting to be bought for someone who decided that they had a price was brutal. But that was just the feelings we had for the first day after the prayer walk, each day unfolded to be very much different than the one before.
So each day we wake up a little later than usual because we stay up later doing ministry. After breakfast, we have quiet time to be with God which I was struggling with a lot since I am often tired here, but God still showed up even when I didn't! I had a day when I was seeking His heart for the ministry in Bangla and He directed me to Isaiah 42, couldn't be more perfect!! I was in awe of how amazing He is even when I am not. After we have a time of worship which has been great for personal edification and just getting the focus back to God every day. This usually took us to lunch and the food tasted awesome, but always looked questionable.
After lunch is when some of us would go down to prayer walk and seek God's heart for the night and the rest of us would stay back and do local ministry. I often found myself staying back and cleaning the building we were in to bless the other team and the owners of the place. Other times we'd go out and hang out with local people and play with the children. We were even invited to a little girls birthday party by her parents and once again, I fell in love with the warmth of the culture and God really worked in me to step out and be a warmer more hospitable person myself. He also was really emphasizing that I need to be seeking a servants heart while here and that no matter how tired I am, He will be the one to give me the energy that I need. He followed through with that time and time again when I would choose it also. I found that the times that I did go down to prayer walk though that I would come back with a headache. Satan really wanted to attack our team through our physical adjustments to the climate because I was not the only one who came back with a headache after seeking God's heart for a place. God gave us pictures, words and clear direction some days and others we worked solely off of prompting we got the night we were out there.
So before each ministry time we would choose who was staying back and interceding for those ministering and who were going out to talk to the girls and other people that God had lead us to. I only felt God telling me to stay back and intercede one day and there was a lot of growth that came from that also. There were many people who felt it the majority of the days and said that their prayer life had been expanded so much in those few days just from listening to God and having to be so fervent in prayer to protect us from all of the evil junk down there. There was also an anointing we prayed over the boys each night before heading out, because it is an easy place to fall into lust. It has been created perfectly as a stumbling block. Unfortunately the enemy hardly needs to do anything to make things worse, people are doing it all on their own.
So ministry times for me were amazing. I felt like God led me straight to my niche, but I think it might end up being like that in everything we do. The first night we went out and just listened to the Holy Spirit and what bars He would have us go to. The first bar that I went to was blessed in the most amazing ways! The girls were the ones that I got the closest with and our whole team pretty well got to know at least one girl at that bar and built a pretty solid relationship with the girls in the short time that we had. We were also blessed that the owners and manager didn't get mad at us for "stealing" business and they actually came and talked/played with us too! They were never busy! It was blessed by God forsure, because every time that I went there, there was one customer max, and the girls were excited to see us! All the bars have these games to play too, jenga, connect four and jackpot. They were freakin' awesome at every game and pretty well always beat us, but after a few nights I was able to beat them once or twice! haha. They also had this game where you have a pointed tipped hammer and have to hit a nail into a log of wood, I'm a natural just want to say ha. But either way, the games were really nice as an ice breaker and they were really open to talking with us and befriending us as long as we bought a drink. One of the girls I made good friends with and even though her English was really bad, when I told them I'd come back the next night and I actually did, their eyes lit up like a child. It was cool because we got to be something that they could trust would follow through with and I'm pretty sure my eyes sparkled just as much as theirs when we would see each other every night. So I got to know a few girls at different bars and went back to visit them every night. The two soi's that generally resided in were Soi Eric and Soi Sea Dragon and it was really cool because I could feel the atmosphere shifting every night that we were there and God did some really cool things through us. One night all of the power went out on one side of Sea Dragon where I had been talking to a guy that I went to visit every night. It was so cool and it was one of the closed bars, that we are not allowed to go into, and as soon as the power went out a flock of people came out and the girls who work there were coming out wrapped up in towels and stuff too! It was amazing because the show was obviously not happening and I was so encouraged that our prayers and presence were making a difference! God is so cool in those situations and little things like that happened over and over. The ministry SHE is such a great thing also. They give a way out for any girl who wants a place to work and get training so that she can go out and work somewhere other than bars and make enough money to support her family. Mark and Sharon are a couple from the UK who have committed their lives to starting and running it and though 100% of the girls come in Buddhist and selling their bodies to make money, come out around 98% Christian and able to work somewhere where their integrity doesn't have to be compromised every day. God has used this couple in great ways and will continue to. I feel so blessed that we were able to help them in their attempts to fulfill the great commission and God is working beyond what we see in so many ways. Because we were only there for 10 days I didn't see a lot of fruit from what I did, but God is still moving and the girls know about a place where they can have an alternative to what they are doing which is a huge step in and of itself. They told us often it'll take 6 months before the girls make the decision to leave, but it doesn't matter because God is moving.
The thing that I struggled with the most down there was complacency. The enemy attacked me night after night with being comfortable in the situation we were in and though I know I can't well in broken heartedness and be effective, I found that some nights I had the urge to join the tourists and just have fun and dance or whatever they were doing. I would shoot a prayer up and God would shake me back into shape which was amazing, but it was really hard to know that if I had been there for any other purpose I would be loving the atmosphere I was in, instead of absolutely hating it. It was cool though that I got to go with this view, which I can be reminded of over and over when things like this come up at home or wherever my travels take me. This place was like Hawaii and Vegas combined on steroids. It was honestly so crazy that this much intensity could be packed into one little place, but I can constantly be reminded that the pit of hell is on earth and there is a way that I can be a light in it no matter where in the world I am at. One night I was struggling the most with complacency I walked down Soi Tiger and there was so much desperation and degradation that I once again hit the point where God broke my heart with His and my focus came back to me. It was crazy how each Soi had its own spiritual climate and some of the Soi's people on our team couldn't even go down because there was so much darkness. I can understand why people need restoration daily after that ministry.
One thing that we were focussing on when we were heading out was that we are in the world and going into darkness from a place of victory! Jesus won the battle on the cross and we are just fulfilling the work that He wants to do with us! We have so much authority of the enemy and though he is powerful also, in the name of Jesus nothing can come at us. This required that all of us were constantly working out of the reservoir of God's love, grace and mercy, but that created growth all of it's own. There was even more desperation that I saw in the men and women who were down there looking to be filled with something that they though could be filled with the world. It was so obvious that there were so many people that were empty there and just wanted anything, but it wasn't satisfying which I think is a praise report. I hope that they keep seeking and are hungry until they meet the only thing that satisfies because I recognize the hunger in their eyes and it is so draining. There were people who took their families to watch girls dance and be in the atmosphere of the bar so having grace and not judging these people and the men buying the girls was a struggle for a lot of the team. God gave me grace there which was amazing and my heart actually went out to them - it was hard to start a conversation with them though, but I was able to be in prayer for them and not hate them only what they were doing. It was total grace from God!
There was also one more thing that my heart went out to. There was Soi Octopus where "lady boys" came out. These are all men who have gotten full sex changes and one dances and others are there to talk to and take pictures. Behind the one who dances are ladies who are stripping and many people sit there and watch the shows with their families, spouses etc. The idea that these men/women have been so broken to the point where they don't have a solid identity makes me want to just tell them about a Jesus that loves them so much that He wants to give them an identity in Him! It was so hard to walk past them and see how much their eyes were hungering for anything but what they were doing and what they were. Right above them was a club that had an abundance of poles and the look that the ladies had who were dancing on there was so similar to these men that we met who were lost. I remember walking down the street, looking up and warning the male team member I was with to keep his eyes on the ground when the one lady who was dancing on a pole looked me dead in the eyes and held my gaze until we were far enough away we couldn't see each other. There was zero life in them and I didn't even have the ability to go tell her that she was valuable enough that a man died the most painful death and descended into disparity just so that she could be redeemed. That He knew that there was a chance she wouldn't find Him and He did it anyway and that this man wasn't just a man but a God who heals and loves and wants to intimately be her friend. It was painful! I have read that the biggest fear of all humans is that they will not have a purpose or that they have no identity, so knowing that these people are living in humanities biggest fear is hard to deal with.
A praise report though is that God is moving in ways that I would never expect. Down most Soi's there is Buddhist shrine type things or trees that people offer Fanta, food and other stuff and so on New Years Eve the girls at the bar I went to every night offered me fruit to give to Buddha. After I found out that it was for Buddha I said that I didn't want any and then they asked me if I was a Christian. It was really cool the timing because we had already become friends and they really liked us so that gave them a good view of Christ that so many Christians (me too) have tainted. But after I had said no and was playing connect four for a while they brought over a tray of the fruit that I had chosen to "eat" and put back and it was all cut up for us to indulge in. YAY!! God is so good and He is so obviously pursuing those who aren't even choosing Him back. I am so lucky to serve a God who loves! The small things were what kept us going and God is so good and all sustaining. He allowed me to see that the people down there were nothing less than us and that all they are is His broken, small children that are lost. His love does not cease because they are making mistakes, nor does it cease when I make mine. His love endures forever and I am so thankful that He is constant and my fickle attitude does not block His consistence. God is so good and is victorious! and I have been able to live in that reality for the last week which I am so thankful for. He has been an ever-present help in trouble and a healer and the ultimate authority. God is so good!
www.jesusfreaksmovie.com
So each day we wake up a little later than usual because we stay up later doing ministry. After breakfast, we have quiet time to be with God which I was struggling with a lot since I am often tired here, but God still showed up even when I didn't! I had a day when I was seeking His heart for the ministry in Bangla and He directed me to Isaiah 42, couldn't be more perfect!! I was in awe of how amazing He is even when I am not. After we have a time of worship which has been great for personal edification and just getting the focus back to God every day. This usually took us to lunch and the food tasted awesome, but always looked questionable.
After lunch is when some of us would go down to prayer walk and seek God's heart for the night and the rest of us would stay back and do local ministry. I often found myself staying back and cleaning the building we were in to bless the other team and the owners of the place. Other times we'd go out and hang out with local people and play with the children. We were even invited to a little girls birthday party by her parents and once again, I fell in love with the warmth of the culture and God really worked in me to step out and be a warmer more hospitable person myself. He also was really emphasizing that I need to be seeking a servants heart while here and that no matter how tired I am, He will be the one to give me the energy that I need. He followed through with that time and time again when I would choose it also. I found that the times that I did go down to prayer walk though that I would come back with a headache. Satan really wanted to attack our team through our physical adjustments to the climate because I was not the only one who came back with a headache after seeking God's heart for a place. God gave us pictures, words and clear direction some days and others we worked solely off of prompting we got the night we were out there.
So before each ministry time we would choose who was staying back and interceding for those ministering and who were going out to talk to the girls and other people that God had lead us to. I only felt God telling me to stay back and intercede one day and there was a lot of growth that came from that also. There were many people who felt it the majority of the days and said that their prayer life had been expanded so much in those few days just from listening to God and having to be so fervent in prayer to protect us from all of the evil junk down there. There was also an anointing we prayed over the boys each night before heading out, because it is an easy place to fall into lust. It has been created perfectly as a stumbling block. Unfortunately the enemy hardly needs to do anything to make things worse, people are doing it all on their own.
So ministry times for me were amazing. I felt like God led me straight to my niche, but I think it might end up being like that in everything we do. The first night we went out and just listened to the Holy Spirit and what bars He would have us go to. The first bar that I went to was blessed in the most amazing ways! The girls were the ones that I got the closest with and our whole team pretty well got to know at least one girl at that bar and built a pretty solid relationship with the girls in the short time that we had. We were also blessed that the owners and manager didn't get mad at us for "stealing" business and they actually came and talked/played with us too! They were never busy! It was blessed by God forsure, because every time that I went there, there was one customer max, and the girls were excited to see us! All the bars have these games to play too, jenga, connect four and jackpot. They were freakin' awesome at every game and pretty well always beat us, but after a few nights I was able to beat them once or twice! haha. They also had this game where you have a pointed tipped hammer and have to hit a nail into a log of wood, I'm a natural just want to say ha. But either way, the games were really nice as an ice breaker and they were really open to talking with us and befriending us as long as we bought a drink. One of the girls I made good friends with and even though her English was really bad, when I told them I'd come back the next night and I actually did, their eyes lit up like a child. It was cool because we got to be something that they could trust would follow through with and I'm pretty sure my eyes sparkled just as much as theirs when we would see each other every night. So I got to know a few girls at different bars and went back to visit them every night. The two soi's that generally resided in were Soi Eric and Soi Sea Dragon and it was really cool because I could feel the atmosphere shifting every night that we were there and God did some really cool things through us. One night all of the power went out on one side of Sea Dragon where I had been talking to a guy that I went to visit every night. It was so cool and it was one of the closed bars, that we are not allowed to go into, and as soon as the power went out a flock of people came out and the girls who work there were coming out wrapped up in towels and stuff too! It was amazing because the show was obviously not happening and I was so encouraged that our prayers and presence were making a difference! God is so cool in those situations and little things like that happened over and over. The ministry SHE is such a great thing also. They give a way out for any girl who wants a place to work and get training so that she can go out and work somewhere other than bars and make enough money to support her family. Mark and Sharon are a couple from the UK who have committed their lives to starting and running it and though 100% of the girls come in Buddhist and selling their bodies to make money, come out around 98% Christian and able to work somewhere where their integrity doesn't have to be compromised every day. God has used this couple in great ways and will continue to. I feel so blessed that we were able to help them in their attempts to fulfill the great commission and God is working beyond what we see in so many ways. Because we were only there for 10 days I didn't see a lot of fruit from what I did, but God is still moving and the girls know about a place where they can have an alternative to what they are doing which is a huge step in and of itself. They told us often it'll take 6 months before the girls make the decision to leave, but it doesn't matter because God is moving.
The thing that I struggled with the most down there was complacency. The enemy attacked me night after night with being comfortable in the situation we were in and though I know I can't well in broken heartedness and be effective, I found that some nights I had the urge to join the tourists and just have fun and dance or whatever they were doing. I would shoot a prayer up and God would shake me back into shape which was amazing, but it was really hard to know that if I had been there for any other purpose I would be loving the atmosphere I was in, instead of absolutely hating it. It was cool though that I got to go with this view, which I can be reminded of over and over when things like this come up at home or wherever my travels take me. This place was like Hawaii and Vegas combined on steroids. It was honestly so crazy that this much intensity could be packed into one little place, but I can constantly be reminded that the pit of hell is on earth and there is a way that I can be a light in it no matter where in the world I am at. One night I was struggling the most with complacency I walked down Soi Tiger and there was so much desperation and degradation that I once again hit the point where God broke my heart with His and my focus came back to me. It was crazy how each Soi had its own spiritual climate and some of the Soi's people on our team couldn't even go down because there was so much darkness. I can understand why people need restoration daily after that ministry.
One thing that we were focussing on when we were heading out was that we are in the world and going into darkness from a place of victory! Jesus won the battle on the cross and we are just fulfilling the work that He wants to do with us! We have so much authority of the enemy and though he is powerful also, in the name of Jesus nothing can come at us. This required that all of us were constantly working out of the reservoir of God's love, grace and mercy, but that created growth all of it's own. There was even more desperation that I saw in the men and women who were down there looking to be filled with something that they though could be filled with the world. It was so obvious that there were so many people that were empty there and just wanted anything, but it wasn't satisfying which I think is a praise report. I hope that they keep seeking and are hungry until they meet the only thing that satisfies because I recognize the hunger in their eyes and it is so draining. There were people who took their families to watch girls dance and be in the atmosphere of the bar so having grace and not judging these people and the men buying the girls was a struggle for a lot of the team. God gave me grace there which was amazing and my heart actually went out to them - it was hard to start a conversation with them though, but I was able to be in prayer for them and not hate them only what they were doing. It was total grace from God!
There was also one more thing that my heart went out to. There was Soi Octopus where "lady boys" came out. These are all men who have gotten full sex changes and one dances and others are there to talk to and take pictures. Behind the one who dances are ladies who are stripping and many people sit there and watch the shows with their families, spouses etc. The idea that these men/women have been so broken to the point where they don't have a solid identity makes me want to just tell them about a Jesus that loves them so much that He wants to give them an identity in Him! It was so hard to walk past them and see how much their eyes were hungering for anything but what they were doing and what they were. Right above them was a club that had an abundance of poles and the look that the ladies had who were dancing on there was so similar to these men that we met who were lost. I remember walking down the street, looking up and warning the male team member I was with to keep his eyes on the ground when the one lady who was dancing on a pole looked me dead in the eyes and held my gaze until we were far enough away we couldn't see each other. There was zero life in them and I didn't even have the ability to go tell her that she was valuable enough that a man died the most painful death and descended into disparity just so that she could be redeemed. That He knew that there was a chance she wouldn't find Him and He did it anyway and that this man wasn't just a man but a God who heals and loves and wants to intimately be her friend. It was painful! I have read that the biggest fear of all humans is that they will not have a purpose or that they have no identity, so knowing that these people are living in humanities biggest fear is hard to deal with.
A praise report though is that God is moving in ways that I would never expect. Down most Soi's there is Buddhist shrine type things or trees that people offer Fanta, food and other stuff and so on New Years Eve the girls at the bar I went to every night offered me fruit to give to Buddha. After I found out that it was for Buddha I said that I didn't want any and then they asked me if I was a Christian. It was really cool the timing because we had already become friends and they really liked us so that gave them a good view of Christ that so many Christians (me too) have tainted. But after I had said no and was playing connect four for a while they brought over a tray of the fruit that I had chosen to "eat" and put back and it was all cut up for us to indulge in. YAY!! God is so good and He is so obviously pursuing those who aren't even choosing Him back. I am so lucky to serve a God who loves! The small things were what kept us going and God is so good and all sustaining. He allowed me to see that the people down there were nothing less than us and that all they are is His broken, small children that are lost. His love does not cease because they are making mistakes, nor does it cease when I make mine. His love endures forever and I am so thankful that He is constant and my fickle attitude does not block His consistence. God is so good and is victorious! and I have been able to live in that reality for the last week which I am so thankful for. He has been an ever-present help in trouble and a healer and the ultimate authority. God is so good!
www.jesusfreaksmovie.com
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