Ministry time begins. We started getting prepared to go out into the red light district each day by prayer walking the bar area before we went to do ministry. The first day, Monday, we all got mentally/spiritually prepared before we even did the prayer walk and walking into the streets was one of the most heavy feelings of my life. I am not so in-tuned with the spiritual realities and even though I hear from the Lord, I find it hard to tell if people are experiencing evil spirits or even the Holy Spirit, but walking down these streets were obviously surrounded by so much evil invitation you couldn't not feel it. As I walked I found myself physically nauseated and for the first time in a long time, I wanted to cry with empathy. I and the rest of the team spent about an hour and a half learning the layout and seeking guidance of where God would have us concentrate our time on, which some of us did every day that we went down for ministry. It was so depressing to me to see that at 130 in the afternoon, there were bars that were already half full of people drinking so much that they wouldn't have been able to even make it to the night. The beach was right at the end of the road and it was constantly full and next to the beach and the bars there are little shops all over. I'll explain the layout a bit: we concentrated only on one road, "Bangla", where the majority of the bars and ladies are. So on the west side there are bigger bars and shops that are all parallel to each other and there is only one row. On the east, each couple hundred meters juts into a little street called a "Soi" and there were probably 7 or so that were full of little bars. Each bar is small/close enough that you could talk to someone that is at the bar next to you and each Soi has around 20 bars. It was one of the most desperate and empty things I have ever seen. In the daytime, it was dead and taking time to be set up, but the junk that was invited there by people at night lingered and was waiting to greet them again when they returned. So many bars had poles in place on the table top where drinks were served, there were more stools than I thought people could dwell in at one time and stages in a few were girls would be auctioned off and then go to the hotel that was attached to that top of the bar. It was so easy to live in sin there because everything was easy to access and encouraged! Like I said before, the beach was welcoming at the end of Bangla and men would often take the ladies they bought there the next day or otherwise it was a place where tourists could meet other tourists and often the same things would go on in those settings. Men would often come and buy girls for a month at a time, and the girls would call these men their boyfriends, it was one of the hardest things that I have ever heard. There is just so much de-value of what a human life and body is worth that making friends with these girls, then hearing they were waiting to be bought for someone who decided that they had a price was brutal. But that was just the feelings we had for the first day after the prayer walk, each day unfolded to be very much different than the one before.
So each day we wake up a little later than usual because we stay up later doing ministry. After breakfast, we have quiet time to be with God which I was struggling with a lot since I am often tired here, but God still showed up even when I didn't! I had a day when I was seeking His heart for the ministry in Bangla and He directed me to Isaiah 42, couldn't be more perfect!! I was in awe of how amazing He is even when I am not. After we have a time of worship which has been great for personal edification and just getting the focus back to God every day. This usually took us to lunch and the food tasted awesome, but always looked questionable.
After lunch is when some of us would go down to prayer walk and seek God's heart for the night and the rest of us would stay back and do local ministry. I often found myself staying back and cleaning the building we were in to bless the other team and the owners of the place. Other times we'd go out and hang out with local people and play with the children. We were even invited to a little girls birthday party by her parents and once again, I fell in love with the warmth of the culture and God really worked in me to step out and be a warmer more hospitable person myself. He also was really emphasizing that I need to be seeking a servants heart while here and that no matter how tired I am, He will be the one to give me the energy that I need. He followed through with that time and time again when I would choose it also. I found that the times that I did go down to prayer walk though that I would come back with a headache. Satan really wanted to attack our team through our physical adjustments to the climate because I was not the only one who came back with a headache after seeking God's heart for a place. God gave us pictures, words and clear direction some days and others we worked solely off of prompting we got the night we were out there.
So before each ministry time we would choose who was staying back and interceding for those ministering and who were going out to talk to the girls and other people that God had lead us to. I only felt God telling me to stay back and intercede one day and there was a lot of growth that came from that also. There were many people who felt it the majority of the days and said that their prayer life had been expanded so much in those few days just from listening to God and having to be so fervent in prayer to protect us from all of the evil junk down there. There was also an anointing we prayed over the boys each night before heading out, because it is an easy place to fall into lust. It has been created perfectly as a stumbling block. Unfortunately the enemy hardly needs to do anything to make things worse, people are doing it all on their own.
So ministry times for me were amazing. I felt like God led me straight to my niche, but I think it might end up being like that in everything we do. The first night we went out and just listened to the Holy Spirit and what bars He would have us go to. The first bar that I went to was blessed in the most amazing ways! The girls were the ones that I got the closest with and our whole team pretty well got to know at least one girl at that bar and built a pretty solid relationship with the girls in the short time that we had. We were also blessed that the owners and manager didn't get mad at us for "stealing" business and they actually came and talked/played with us too! They were never busy! It was blessed by God forsure, because every time that I went there, there was one customer max, and the girls were excited to see us! All the bars have these games to play too, jenga, connect four and jackpot. They were freakin' awesome at every game and pretty well always beat us, but after a few nights I was able to beat them once or twice! haha. They also had this game where you have a pointed tipped hammer and have to hit a nail into a log of wood, I'm a natural just want to say ha. But either way, the games were really nice as an ice breaker and they were really open to talking with us and befriending us as long as we bought a drink. One of the girls I made good friends with and even though her English was really bad, when I told them I'd come back the next night and I actually did, their eyes lit up like a child. It was cool because we got to be something that they could trust would follow through with and I'm pretty sure my eyes sparkled just as much as theirs when we would see each other every night. So I got to know a few girls at different bars and went back to visit them every night. The two soi's that generally resided in were Soi Eric and Soi Sea Dragon and it was really cool because I could feel the atmosphere shifting every night that we were there and God did some really cool things through us. One night all of the power went out on one side of Sea Dragon where I had been talking to a guy that I went to visit every night. It was so cool and it was one of the closed bars, that we are not allowed to go into, and as soon as the power went out a flock of people came out and the girls who work there were coming out wrapped up in towels and stuff too! It was amazing because the show was obviously not happening and I was so encouraged that our prayers and presence were making a difference! God is so cool in those situations and little things like that happened over and over. The ministry SHE is such a great thing also. They give a way out for any girl who wants a place to work and get training so that she can go out and work somewhere other than bars and make enough money to support her family. Mark and Sharon are a couple from the UK who have committed their lives to starting and running it and though 100% of the girls come in Buddhist and selling their bodies to make money, come out around 98% Christian and able to work somewhere where their integrity doesn't have to be compromised every day. God has used this couple in great ways and will continue to. I feel so blessed that we were able to help them in their attempts to fulfill the great commission and God is working beyond what we see in so many ways. Because we were only there for 10 days I didn't see a lot of fruit from what I did, but God is still moving and the girls know about a place where they can have an alternative to what they are doing which is a huge step in and of itself. They told us often it'll take 6 months before the girls make the decision to leave, but it doesn't matter because God is moving.
The thing that I struggled with the most down there was complacency. The enemy attacked me night after night with being comfortable in the situation we were in and though I know I can't well in broken heartedness and be effective, I found that some nights I had the urge to join the tourists and just have fun and dance or whatever they were doing. I would shoot a prayer up and God would shake me back into shape which was amazing, but it was really hard to know that if I had been there for any other purpose I would be loving the atmosphere I was in, instead of absolutely hating it. It was cool though that I got to go with this view, which I can be reminded of over and over when things like this come up at home or wherever my travels take me. This place was like Hawaii and Vegas combined on steroids. It was honestly so crazy that this much intensity could be packed into one little place, but I can constantly be reminded that the pit of hell is on earth and there is a way that I can be a light in it no matter where in the world I am at. One night I was struggling the most with complacency I walked down Soi Tiger and there was so much desperation and degradation that I once again hit the point where God broke my heart with His and my focus came back to me. It was crazy how each Soi had its own spiritual climate and some of the Soi's people on our team couldn't even go down because there was so much darkness. I can understand why people need restoration daily after that ministry.
One thing that we were focussing on when we were heading out was that we are in the world and going into darkness from a place of victory! Jesus won the battle on the cross and we are just fulfilling the work that He wants to do with us! We have so much authority of the enemy and though he is powerful also, in the name of Jesus nothing can come at us. This required that all of us were constantly working out of the reservoir of God's love, grace and mercy, but that created growth all of it's own. There was even more desperation that I saw in the men and women who were down there looking to be filled with something that they though could be filled with the world. It was so obvious that there were so many people that were empty there and just wanted anything, but it wasn't satisfying which I think is a praise report. I hope that they keep seeking and are hungry until they meet the only thing that satisfies because I recognize the hunger in their eyes and it is so draining. There were people who took their families to watch girls dance and be in the atmosphere of the bar so having grace and not judging these people and the men buying the girls was a struggle for a lot of the team. God gave me grace there which was amazing and my heart actually went out to them - it was hard to start a conversation with them though, but I was able to be in prayer for them and not hate them only what they were doing. It was total grace from God!
There was also one more thing that my heart went out to. There was Soi Octopus where "lady boys" came out. These are all men who have gotten full sex changes and one dances and others are there to talk to and take pictures. Behind the one who dances are ladies who are stripping and many people sit there and watch the shows with their families, spouses etc. The idea that these men/women have been so broken to the point where they don't have a solid identity makes me want to just tell them about a Jesus that loves them so much that He wants to give them an identity in Him! It was so hard to walk past them and see how much their eyes were hungering for anything but what they were doing and what they were. Right above them was a club that had an abundance of poles and the look that the ladies had who were dancing on there was so similar to these men that we met who were lost. I remember walking down the street, looking up and warning the male team member I was with to keep his eyes on the ground when the one lady who was dancing on a pole looked me dead in the eyes and held my gaze until we were far enough away we couldn't see each other. There was zero life in them and I didn't even have the ability to go tell her that she was valuable enough that a man died the most painful death and descended into disparity just so that she could be redeemed. That He knew that there was a chance she wouldn't find Him and He did it anyway and that this man wasn't just a man but a God who heals and loves and wants to intimately be her friend. It was painful! I have read that the biggest fear of all humans is that they will not have a purpose or that they have no identity, so knowing that these people are living in humanities biggest fear is hard to deal with.
A praise report though is that God is moving in ways that I would never expect. Down most Soi's there is Buddhist shrine type things or trees that people offer Fanta, food and other stuff and so on New Years Eve the girls at the bar I went to every night offered me fruit to give to Buddha. After I found out that it was for Buddha I said that I didn't want any and then they asked me if I was a Christian. It was really cool the timing because we had already become friends and they really liked us so that gave them a good view of Christ that so many Christians (me too) have tainted. But after I had said no and was playing connect four for a while they brought over a tray of the fruit that I had chosen to "eat" and put back and it was all cut up for us to indulge in. YAY!! God is so good and He is so obviously pursuing those who aren't even choosing Him back. I am so lucky to serve a God who loves! The small things were what kept us going and God is so good and all sustaining. He allowed me to see that the people down there were nothing less than us and that all they are is His broken, small children that are lost. His love does not cease because they are making mistakes, nor does it cease when I make mine. His love endures forever and I am so thankful that He is constant and my fickle attitude does not block His consistence. God is so good and is victorious! and I have been able to live in that reality for the last week which I am so thankful for. He has been an ever-present help in trouble and a healer and the ultimate authority. God is so good!
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